A Letter To the Older Me

Dear Older ‘Seyi,

By now you must have outgrown the nickname ‘Rubies’ if you remember it but if you do, I can see the cringe you try to hide behind a smile when it comes up. You are probably thinking you could have thought up a better nickname (Got to say I do not think so), but I do not want to get your blood pressure up so I will just address you as Seyi.

Having kids and achieving your dreams really looks good on you and so does the glittering ruby ring on your finger. Looking at you from all the way over here, I cannot fully grasp how content you are, not just content but happy. Sure there have been potholes, everyone has to hit one at one point or the other but you have gotten through them and come out fine. You may look back and think ‘I had it easy when I was younger’, so I will remind you of how it was hoping you’ll be grateful at every point in your life.

At the early stage of your life it was all fun and games and your greatest worry was whether the ice cream man would show up or not. Then teenage years came up and insecurities became the order of the day. For a long while you battled with your identity, not just that but what your path was. Everyone seemed to have everything sorted out but you kept floundering…no clear direction. The journey to purpose was full of a lot of half-baked ideas, disappointments, pain, running to God when everything else failed. You cried a lot, so many times, over and over and at times it seemed nothing would ever go right. All you wanted to do was fulfill your duty and be happy but it seemed duty and happiness were worlds apart. You made so many mistakes that you can never take back, a lot of them leaving an indelible scar on your soul but somehow in the midst of that all you found purpose.

Do you remember now how much making your dream a reality with your blog cost? The sleepless nights awake thinking of content, the fear of making a fool of yourself? Pouring all your money into it and barely having enough to feed? There were so many doubts in your head and in the mouths of others, how you never gave up is a miracle in itself. So you did start “LazyTrendyChic” a project close to your heart with the help of friends, ones that will last a lifetime. All you wanted to do was make people see that the society’s pre-portrayed image of us does not have to hold true. Our first obligation should be to ourselves, to please ourselves and be comfortable in our skin before anything else and fashion was your medium. OH, the feeling of glorious fulfillment when the first stage of the plan was put in place and your blog kicked off. What joy! What happiness! The very reason all the sacrifices are worth it.

It is from this point in your life that I write to you dear older Seyi, I do not know where the tide will go from here or even if my dream will make it any farther but I have hope and a fierce determination and that is what keeps me going. I trust that what will be will be. Please do not forget what the ‘Ruby’ means to you….the fiery wrath of the gem, a strength unbending, passion as bright as flames, coolness against your skin…your calm in every situation. Forget not also, the pricelessness of the gem…you are worth the world.No matter what may come your way Seyi remember you are strong, you are flawed and perfect as you are.

I look forward to seeing you sparkle and light up the room even more than you already do.

Yours,

A younger more gullible you

Rubies.